So imagine my joy last night when I was trawling through the Forbes Woman website when I found an article titiled something along the lines of "Things That Keep Women From Leading Better Lives." Hold the phone and pass the pinot grigio, this girl was all set for an evening of female inspiration perhaps with a small bit of metaphorical bra-burning thrown in.
It was a fairly typical article, which opened with a blurb about women, in particular mothers with careers, who needed to face the facts of life to be able to really achieve what they want to achieve. By now I was hooked and on my second glass of grigio which seemed to be evaporating in anticipation.
Well Dear God I apologise for what I am about to say but what an utter pile of complete bollocks that turned out to be.... The focus seemed to be on saying that you didn't have to hit 100% perfection (implying 95% was just fine), not worrying if you weren't perfectly manicured or your house wasn't completely perfect or your children weren't "just-so" perfect. I wasn't sure if I was just too cynical, too British or perhaps just too slovenly to really buy into this. Does anyone, correction...does any working mother actually ever try and be perfect? I mean really "perfectly" perfect?
Most of the working mothers I know gave up the concept of being perfect somewhere about 3 months into the motherhood gig when we all realised that beige tops rocked as they didn't show the baby stains and hence didn't need washing as frequently.
Personally I'm less concerned with arriving at work perfectly manicured than making sure I have clean underwear, my top on the right way round and both shoes the same colour. Between getting out of bed and arriving at my desk I have played referee, nurse, chef, teacher, mediator, sherpa, taxi driver, counsellor and social secretary. I roughly have about 10 minutes "Me time" in the morning to shower and dress and usually that is with an audience while answering 100 questions ranging from "Mummy, what was the name of Peppa pig's goldfish?" to the more awkward "Why do boys have tails Mummy?" What the...?!
Don't get me wrong I can scrub up ok when the need calls but on a daily basis ... it's just not happening.
As for the house - I think you have to know someone pretty well to turn up unannounced when they have kids. My sister has a sign on her door which says "This house is not under construction, Kids live here" I never really understood that until I got to child number 3. Keeping my house tidy is rather similar to painting the Golden Gate bridge. And for those of you that have turned up at my place and wonder what I am worrying about - whilst it may have appeared tidy - you obviously didn't open any cupboards.
But the one that really got me riled was whether my kids were perfect. Define "kids being perfect"... Are their outfits completely co-ordinated? Err no. They tend to dress themselves. I gave up attempting to pretend I had any influence about 2 years ago. Pink, orange and red are a regular combination and through it they are developing their own sense of self and style. Do they behave perfectly? At home... not a chance in hell. But when we go out people comment on how well behaved they are (Excuse me, do you mean my kids?) Do they sit like angels doing their homework - no I drag them kicking and screaming through learning spellings and reading every week but their reports tell me of engaged children that are doing great.
So in short - I'm not perfect, my house isn't perfect, my kids aren't perfect - by some complete strangers standards.
And that's perfectly fine by me...
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