And I WIll Never Make A Coffee Morning....

Something happened a few months ago in the school carpark. Yet another email form the Class Rep had done the rounds suggesting how great it would be if all us Mums got together after school drop off for a coffee and a general Get To Know You. But while all the other Mums were milling around I was doing my usual 100m dash to my car combined with a bit of hurdling over a various assortment of small children. As I was in my car making the usual preparations for takeoff (throw coat off, check work passes are to hand, quick check of the blackberry and away we go) there was a sharp rap on the passenger window. As I lowered the window another Mum, looking equally harrassed looked at me, nodded towards the assortment of gathering mothers and said "God they don't know they've lived. Are you on LINKED IN?"

In that one moment any residual ideology I had of being one of those mothers who can create an entire social life out of School Gate parents disappeared. I would never have that - my choices mean that my social circle would continue to be mainly family and friends I'd had for years.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm missing out on a whole opportunity and experience of child rearing but then I think being a professional Mum not only gives me room to be who I need to be but is a way I can teach my children valuable lessons on being the best you can be. 

But all that being said... despite the crazy hectic pace of my life and my lack of Gate-loitering, I haven't been a complete social failure! I do have 2 friends to add to my inner circle that I have met over the years at the Gates. These were women that happen chance caused us to be in the same place for longer than 5 mins and in that short period of time something clicked.... And these are amazing women, women that have seen me through good times and very bad times. That will be there now no matter what school my kids go to. As my mum always said its not about quantity of friends but quality and if nothing else I thank the lord that brought me crashing through the school gates at the same time as these women. 

It's sad but true that I will never be an active member of the PTA, that my kids will go on more play dates to other peoples houses than I will be able to return, and no I will not be able to help out at Rainbows every other Tuesday. But you know what? My kids don't care.... Because we will make their Jolly Jars together at the weekends, and they will wake up in the morning and their Rainbow badges will be all sewn on their tunics, and when friends do come over it tends to be in the holidays and we go out for the whole day not just a couple of hours in the evening. In fact the only one who seems to be feeling guilty at all about this is me...

Unfortunately I won't be able to drown that guilt in a double shot skinny latte with some great Mums from school but my kids did buy me a rather excellent travel coffee mug that sits steaming, waiting for me in my car as I prepare for take off....